How much is too much? A discussion on vulnerability.

This isn’t a post about me at all. This post has been rattling around in the back of my head for some time and I think the universe was trying to tell me something because last week my friends shared several instances in which people had judged them over the internets. People like you and me decided to weigh in on their decisions completely unsolicited. Some opinions were based on superfluous things while others took an incredible amount of courage to discuss. I shook and continue to shake my head at these instances. One: I can relate because I have sat in that hot seat and two: what kind of world do we live in in which humans can be wretchedly mean when disguised behind a computer or some silly social media handle?

For those of you that do not understand blogging and simply like a quick read - we are always grateful for your readership. Always. You bring life to our passions. You don’t have to have the desire to become an influencer to appreciate blogging. Let’s face it, bloggers and influencers are anchoring huge deals ranging from parenting products to fashion to beauty products and they are being compensated heavily for their reviews, opinions and “influence” over the masses. It would be hard to argue that we aren’t doing something right.

But still, society has been leaning on this crutch that because we are being truthful with our feelings, it’s okay to completely dismember someone’s spirit and livelihood in one fell swoop by leaving a nasty comment. “Hey, I was just being honest, right? Can’t fault me for that ,right?” WRONG. Since when is it okay to spew mean, hateful things to another human being and then simply proceed to go about your business as if no one got hurt in the process? It isn’t. My forever question is always, “Would you actually say that to someone’s face?” Likely no because these screens and apps allow us to hide behind an anonymous persona and also, it would be incredibly uncomfortable.

Here’s the breakdown. Whether a blogger is part time in this hustle or full time, which means it is their livelihood, our job is to bare all and put ourselves out there…sharing is what we get compensated for. We think long and hard, sometimes an entire year before we hit publish on that post. Drafting, revising, editing and editing some more. Authenticity and vulnerability is the single most important reason you choose to follow us. And guess what? We all have a choice. If you don’t like someone’s content, you always have the ability to simply “unfollow.” It’s magical. And yes, it’s completely unrealistic to agree with every viewpoint your favorite bloggers share but that’s also real life. That happens on the daily. Just because it’s posted on social media or their website doesn’t mean we shouldn’t practice the same understanding and compassion.

A real recent pop culture incident occurred only last month with my beloved Ellen DeGeneres. I love her message, her brand, her mind and her ability to bring our culture back down to earth to focus on what’s important…not our differences but our uniqueness and the fact that we are all in this together. I am sure you remember that Cowboys game.

“I’m friends with George Bush. In fact, I’m friends with a lot of people who don’t share the same beliefs that I have. We’re all different, and I think that we’ve forgotten that that’s okay that we’re all different. Just because I don’t agree with someone on everything doesn’t mean that I’m not going to be friends with them. When I say be kind to one another, I don’t only mean the people that think the same way that you do. I mean be kind to everyone.” — Variety

<slow golf clap>

I suppose this sounds like an angry post. I am not angry. I am not angry at all but I am defensive of my peers. The ones I personally know and have relationships with and the ones I don’t. It takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there each and every day. And yes, one could argue that we signed up for this and you’re right, we DID sign up to share our lives but what we didn’t sign up for is criticism. We didn’t sign up for toxicity or a personal attack on the things, experiences and people that spark joy in our daily lives.

My peers have been criticized for:

• their fashion sense

• their parenting

• their relationship status

• their weight

• their skin and skin color

• their sexual preference

• their religion

• the shape of their nose, their eyes, their mouth, their booty…you name it

• the way their children look <awful>

• their fertility decisions

…if that isn’t appalling I don’t know what is. None of this should matter or be subject to judgement. It’s simply not okay. What provoked me to write this post is that I needed a break from fashion and I had something to say. I don’t like to see good people hurt or see a sadness in their eyes. I think we have way bigger problems to be concerned with. Us influencers know that we are not curing cancer; I promise you we are fully aware. But we choose to write and share because we love to connect with you, we love to help you solve problems no matter how big or small. I’ve had first time parents message me queries on baby products to first time travelers looking to visit Paris asking where to stay. The common denominator is that they trust me for authentic reviews, recommendations and feedback based on my experiences and THAT is the true joy of blogging. Helping others.

So if you made it this far, I commend you. It was a long one! And I don’t want to accuse the general public of behaving the same way because that’s never the case for any one behavior. Maybe it will hit one person who has shared a negative opinion without thinking and this post will change their perspective or at least make them take a long, pregnant pause before they hit publish on their next opinion. That would be a small win for all of us.

Thanks for reading. xo