I posted a blog last week on shopping. It wasn't ground breaking and I've shared this type of content many-a-time before. Once in awhile a reader will comment on a particular item they, too are fawning over. It's just fun, superfluous content. The interesting thing about this post is that it really rubbed one reader the wrong way. I mentioned it extensively on my IG stories but in case you missed it...here's what my friend, "Laney" had to say...
...and here's my response.
I suppose I should be inclined to thank Laney for her honesty. Ummmm, no. This type of honesty does not merit gratitude. This falls into cyber bullying and it's not okay. In fact, it's wrong and it's also what's wrong with our society today.
That same evening I sat with my girlfriends over dinner sharing this, at the time, unpublished comment and enlisted their feedback. All of them influencers in their own right. Each one was incredulous at the malice behind said comment. One even emphatically shared how a comment like this could really send someone over the edge because you never what that person is or could be going through. I sat back and thought about it because I really hadn't looked at it from that perspective. I just knew that it made me feel like garbage.
Fortunately, my worst problems do not even compare to those of others hence I have a pretty stable emotional state. Still, and even after years of becoming a bit calloused by the world, this comment bothered me. I'd be lying if I said it didn't and while I didn't lose any sleep over it, I kept thinking to myself... "Wow, what did I ever do wrong to this girl?" And then I snapped out of it. Here's why...
Laney doesn't know me or my life. She sees what I portray on this tiny little piece of real estate called 101 things I love which has been altogether a very gratifying yet a very time consuming labor of love for many years now. And what's even crazier, we all have a choice. We have a choice of who we follow, what we read, who or what we choose to read or give our time to. It's called free will. And sure, not every post I write is ahh-mazing, this I know, but it's my goddamn post. That's it. I am not soliciting approval. If you don't like it, Laney, move right along. No need for the hate because as a mother, I teach my children the "if you can't say something nice, don't say it at all" rule and it is still relevant. One that we should put into practice now more than ever. Honesty is great, shit - it's appreciated, but not at the expense of making another human being feel crappy.
I probably am giving this type of negativity too much merit. Believe me, it's gone through my head, but hey...this is not the first or the last time I have received a sucky comment. And, well...I kind of wanted to put my feelings to bed. Projecting this type of negativity into the universe accomplishes absolutely nothing. And what's even worse...what kind of person are you that intentionally wants to make someone feel bad? What does that say about you? Maybe I shouldn't give more of my time to this particular subject because it is out of my control.
So yeah, you don't have to like my style, you don't have to believe I do social media for a living (btw, what? weirdest part of the comment) or that I am a mother (pretty sure those kids I post from time to time are mine, babe) but just keep it to yourself. As I always say, if you wouldn't say it to someone's face at a cocktail party or a social gathering than you probably shouldn't say it at all.
I know there are many people with amazing style or better writers out there. It's subjective and it's personal. And even if my husband and two of my friends are the only people that read this blog...so be it. You are, in fact, totally right. I am happy with how I dress, how I look and the way I feel. I've worked on it for quite some time now. I've worked through the fatigue of becoming a new mother, I've worked through the postpartum body changes that didn't make me feel so confident, I've worked through depression, I've worked through the exhaustion of trying to build a company...I've been working on me for what seems like forever and I am still a work in progress.
As for my blogging career, again - thanks for the tip, but I think I will be the judge of when and if I want to close up shop...but you'll never know, right Laney? You are moving onto other blogs who are more sincere or authentic with consistent style. Give.Me.A.Break and bye, Felicia.
Laney, you can shop my exact look below!
Check out today's link ups: Pink Sole, Musings of a Housewife, Fashionista Momma, More Pieces of Me, Watch Out for the Woetsmans Fizz and Frosting, Style Elixir, I Do deClaire, Garay Treasures, The Mummy Chronicles, The Pleated Poppy, Tucker Up, Get Your Pretty On, Shopping My Closet Penniless Socialite, Sincerely Jenna Marie, Living in Color!