Grandmas show us what perfect love looks like.

My grandma passed away on September 4th, 2022 @ 9:15am. She was 102 and her birthday was soon approaching in November. She was the only grandparent I’ve every known in my 44 years of existence. To say we had a special relationship would be an understatement. There was an unspoken bond between us that began as early as my walking years. My grandma, Edith also known as Anita, understood me, stuck up for me and supported every decision I made. She was my hype girl before having hype girls was a thing.

My grandma was a nurse in the war. She was a vet. She was a working woman. She was a style maven. She was a wife, a daughter, a sister and a member of the century club. I remember when I was a little girl thinking she was just the coolest. Her city home was laden with trinkets, antiques, special furniture, hidden alcoves and the constant hum of classical music. She was a lover of the orchestra and live music. As recent as last Thursday we sat in her hospital room chatting, her labored breathing with me in the chair next to her bed, and she asked me what would happen next and where she was going. I could tell that the unknown was making her anxious. At one point, she looked at me and said, “I wish I could just hear an orchestra play.” That was my grandmother.

Furthermore, she was a traveler. It wasn’t long after my grandpa passed that she began to travel the globe all by herself. I always loved to hear about her worldly trips remembering that Portugal and Denmark were amongst her favorite destinations. Her travel souvenirs were strewn all over the house from plates to figurines to necklaces. It was a lot of fun for a little girl.

There are many things that I remember about my grandma and over the last few days, I have begun to remember more which has thrown me into two different extremes: extreme sadness at the loss of her presence and extreme happiness when I think of joyful memories we shared some of which were in complete silence.

My grandma worried a lot on the inside but she rarely showed it on the outside. I guess she was the first strong woman to come into my life outside of my mother. And while I know I am not remembering every memory, I wanted to write down the things I do remember right this moment so that I could freeze them in time and look back at them with fondness. It is my way of memorializing all the things I loved about her although I am not sure that one blog post could accomplish that.

Here are some of my favorite memories and things about Anita Waismann:

1. When we were little, she fondly called my brother and I her “poopsie.” It was an affectionate name she gave all babies and children. I don’t know where it came from but it stuck.

2. When my grandmother was exasperated at us or heard something crazy on the news or when she talked about politics, she would always make the same noise. She would wince her eyes and click her tongue. Almost like she was feeling a pinch. That’s when you knew that she didn’t approve of something. This happened a lot when Trump was in office which makes me chuckle even writing this.

3. When I left my first husband, I moved home for a bit. One day we were sitting and talking and out of nowhere she told me she never was a fan of him and that she never thought he was the right fit for me. Lord knows why she hung onto this information for so long but it would have been helpful in my youth…that is for sure!

4. My grandma was a lover of jewelry. She has jewelry boxes full. There is one gold ring in particular that she wore every day. I’ve always loved it and it wasn’t until this summer that she shared the story behind it. She bought it with her own money after my grandfather passed away. Her words, “And it was expensive!”

5. When I would sleepover at her house as a child, she didn’t have regular crap snacks around the house. Instead she would make me the best tasting toast and when we watched TV together, she would put a big bowl between us and we would snack on peeled shrimp. It’s so bazaar but I remember this distinctly.

6. My grandma wore one lipstick the entire time I’ve known her. It was Revlon “Geranium.”

7. She always dressed up and looked sharp. Didn’t matter if we were lounging at the house or going out to dinner, you could often find her in a pussy bow blouse, a blazer and trousers. I’ve never seen her in sweatpants EVER.

8. My grandma loved two songs very much: Moon River and Blue Danube.

9. The woman must have owned 463 pairs of slippers. My goodness.

10. She loved Tchaikovsky. In fact, we shared that one. My grandma, mother and I love the ballet and we never tire of any of the ballets that include his works.

11. This woman was an avid bridge player. She even schooled the ladies in her nursing home as recent as August. She always wore lots of “special” rings on bridge days because she said the focus was on everyone’s hands which also meant that she never missed a manicure. When she passed away, she was wearing bright pink nail polish.

12. She was an avid reader. She could sometimes read three books in a week. She’s read every James Patterson book that existed.

13. My grandma got her hair done once a week and it was the perfect, silver-gray color. She could have been on a L’Oreal box.

14. She witnessed the birth of my nephew almost a year ago. She marveled at him the same way she did when my girls were babies.

15. My grandmother loved her great grandchildren. She would sit and observe the room when they were around. There was a sweetness between them.

16. In her later years, my grandmother worried about being a burden to my parents. She always felt that my dad worked too hard and that my mother didn’t truly retire. She always wanted them to go out and live life instead of worry about her. She used to call my dad “Jimmy” and tell me that he worked so hard to give us this life. I know she was very aware of all they sacrificed to take care of her.

17. Just as recent as last week, in that same hospital room, she looked at me and said, “Jack is a good dad. I can tell.” And she isn’t wrong. She approved of this one.

18. My grandma shrunk down to 100 pounds this year. She was tiny and fragile but she never stopped wearing my grandfather’s pajamas at bedtime. Deep down, I know she loved and missed him very much and this was her homage to him.

19. My grandma taught me the one shoulder shiver. It’s hard to explain but every time a song came on that had a good beat, she would only lift one shoulder to the beat and stare at us incredulous that her little shoulder was taking on a life of its own. She would point to her shoulder and raise her eyebrows. It always made me laugh. Soon both shoulders would start bopping.

20. My grandmother never dieted. She ate bacon and eggs, black coffee all day and she loved a dry, Chardonnay. Even at 102. And she never skipped dessert.

21. On our last visit, we watched Family Feud together with Steve Harvey. She told me she loved the dresses the contestants wore on the show. I told you she was always on the lookout for fashion!

22. This is the craziest thing of all that I only recently learned of on Labor Day. My grandma entered a nursing home on July 6th. Up until then, my parents took her in and cared for her in our home over the last 15 years. Apparently the nursing home unearthed some hidden talents as well as a spark of youth in her. As my parents packed up her things over the weekend, several staff stopped my dad and told him what a beautiful voice she had. I was gobsmacked because…wait for it…my grandma was very popular at karaoke night. Everyone loved her voice. (this is a talent I never knew of btw) Despite being on oxygen machines 24/7, our little songbird was hosting her very own talent show on the regular.

If you’ve made it this far, you can probably understand why she had such an impact on my life. An immeasurable one that will never be replaced. I have been looking for signs all weekend to somehow know that she is okay in heaven and reunited with my grandpa. Perhaps I am looking too hard but I am definitely looking.

And while I know I don’t have everything documented in this blog post, I can look down at the amber and gold cocktail ring on my finger that was once hers and smile with gratitude at the long, vibrant life she led and shared with so many of us. I could only hope to be half the grandmother that she was…peeled shrimp and all.

I love you and miss you Grandma. Rest in peace.